What really matters in church

There’s a lot of talk in the church world about doing everything with excellence. That’s important. Many leaders have focused on it because for many years it was totally neglected in the church (still is in some places). It just didn’t matter. While culture improved how it communicated, the church stayed stuck in the same old trends.

But something’s changing, at least in me and in the churched and unchurched folks I know. More than an amazing video and a band worthy of opening for U2, I want to see people who are real – people just being people, without polish, taking risks in the world around them. Excellence is important, but being authentic matters a whole lot more.

It’s like visiting a friend’s home verses visiting a five-star restaurant. Both have elements of excellence and authenticity – but their focuses are different. When we pursue the business metaphor, we begin to pursue “cool.” We begin to cater to people’s consumeristic needs. We begin to present a vision of church that leads to misconceptions over what God’s all about. When the pursuit of excellence becomes our goal, other things quickly become secondary priorities. Focusing intensely on the “guest’s” experience makes it a show, and when people attend a show long enough, it becomes an event to consume. Should we think about outsiders during our meeting times? Absolutely. But how we focus should also indicate our values. Hospitality matters a lot. A concierge service matters less.

How will you live?

When you look back at the end of your life, will you have lots of plans or with lots of memories?

When you look back when it’s time to move on from your current job, will your thoughts be filled with ideas or with stories?

Seminary and relational “in-between-ness” (spending time on what really matters)

Seminary can be an amazing time.

You’re preparing for ministry. And for one of the only times in life, you’re surrounded by people who believe something similar and are pursuing a similar calling. They may have different backgrounds. They may be diverse. But they have a similar passion. They’re preparing for a similar thing.

That’s instant community, right?

Actually, no.

I’ve been amazed at the number of people I’ve talked to recently who express a similar feeling. “I feel alone.”

These are all healthy, well-adjusted, fun people. These are people who have active social lives. But something’s still missing.

It’s something Grete and I felt when moving here. It’s something we still feel at times. Part of it is just realizing that real relationships take time. We were in Fort Worth for seven years – four of which included college. The relationships built there can’t be duplicated in nine months.

But there’s something more to it. Maybe it’s just this seminary. Maybe it’s every seminary. But life is packed. People are busy. There’s no room in the margins for connection.

I love Fuller. I love my classes. I respect the people here. I’m impressed with the students sitting in class around me. The diversity is encouraging. The people are encouraging.

But if this is the kind of community seminary students are experiencing, how on earth are we going to connect to a world that needs to experience the love, peace, hope, and life-changing challenges and call that God has to offer?

From the seminary’s perspective, I don’t think this is simply an issue of “it’s a busy time” or of people needing to make friends. It’s a stewardship issue. More than knowledge, ministry is about relationships. Now, relationships cannot be taught or systematized, but seminaries need to give the space – physically and time/activity-wise – for those connections – those future webs of support – to develop.

I often think about the triad of knowing, doing, and being. We’re getting the knowing down. Americans are pretty good at doing (getting better at the “obeying God” part of it). Maybe it’s time to be more intentional about the being.

I’m learning things in class that are filling me up with important, and potentially life-changing, information, and that’s exciting! But in my job I’m also learning it’s much more about the connections than the information. One of the most important parts of ministry is providing space for people to connect and be empowered to serve both in and out of the church.

Through seminary, I’m actually getting better at disciplined studying and thinking deeply. For the first time in my life, I’m able to focus on reading for more than 20 minutes! (I’m totally ADD). But now it’s time to get good at the PRACTICE of ministry and life.

Hear are a few skills I want to grow in:

Hearing God
Ministering by listening
Ministering by leading
Leading by empowering others
Having fun in life
Having real hobbies
Living consistently in relationships – healthy time with family and friends

I don’t know the answers. I don’t know how we’re supposed to balance school, work, family, God, friendships, ministry, and personal health. But I do know one thing, if you have to say “no” to something, it shouldn’t be a “no” to God, family, friendships or obedience.

So for all you seminary students out there, let’s be careful! It’s easy to get so filled up with information you miss the “life” part of it all. Methods and perspectives are great, but I want to know and love God and know and love others. That’s stuff you just can’t learn in books.

Slowing down for a while

I’ve been trying to post on a more regular basis around here, but I want to warn you – it’s going to be a little slower over the next few weeks. We’re into the final two weeks of the quarter at Fuller. And that, along with some big events coming up with small groups, is going to be consuming much of my time.

I’m sure I’ll still post some odds and ends, so keep checking in. In a few weeks things will heat up again!

I’d prefer “Purpose-Driven Scrabble”

Don’t know what to get that special someone? What about this??

I didn’t believe it was real, but yes, oh yes, it is.

From the product description: “Your Best Life Now by Joel Osteen has sold over 3 million copies and has been on the New York Times and Publisher’s Weekly Best Seller list for over 50 consecutive weeks. The game enables players to step beyond the one-on-one nature of the book and feel, touch, and live Joel’s 7 Steps To Living At Your Full Potential with your friends and family. Your Best Life Now: The Game is an entertaining and educational way to take inventory of yourself and accountability of your actions. Each new plateau represents a challenge and a chance to open up and experience these steps first hand as you learn to live Your Best Life Now.”

HT

A little giddy

I registered for summer classes today, and aside from the event being a major drain on the bank account, I’m excited about the courses. Here’s why:

• I have high expectations for this class. It’s taught by Alan Hirsch (and … it appears … Eddie Gibbs). I honestly get excited whenever I read anything by these two. I love how Alan mixes theories with practical application. Many people casting a vision for change just have ideas, but Alan is much more grounded in actual situations – in how it’s lived out. The topic is one I get passionate about. I’m looking forward to being stretched and challenged.

• This class on the ethics of the new testament looks a little intimidating, but it should be exciting as well.

• I’m taking my first systematic theology class. I just finished up a round of historical theology, where you see how theological thought developed through history, but now it’s time to see how different people and groups view different parts of theology. Some people I know are against much of what seminaries do – they’re too academic and not practical enough. That may be true, but for me, I’m here to ask the theological questions before someone else asks me. It’s a time to study and really understand what I believe. What we believe informs and drives our actions – whether we realize it or not. So while I’m seeking to live out my faith in Christ personally and through my job, I’m also hoping to sharpen and refine my understanding of why we do what we do.

• Only three weeks of actual class time (plus lots out outside work) will give me more flexibility to spend time on small groups. It’s exciting to see momentum and excitement growing within the church for groups. I’ll probably write about this more later, but the first six months or so on the job, I spent a lot of time developing systems and a foundation for us to work off of. Now it’s time to run! We’re also evaluating how we measure small groups success. It’s easy to say we have more than 600 people in groups. But what does that mean? What we measure becomes what we value – so how can we measure what really matters - beyond numbers of “butts in couches”?

• And finally, no Greek! I’m glad I’ve learned the basics of the language, and it’s already helped me understand some of the nuances of some New Testament texts, but after three quarters, I’m ready to move on to greener, more English-like, pastures. My next purchase? Accordance!

Sharing God’s love when it isn’t easy

It’s so easy to be spoiled and satisfied, isn’t it?

I just received an update from some wonderful men and women who are serving God in a very tough country. It’s slow going. It’s not easy work, and it’s not safe. But through their work serving the people (working to build schools, open medical clinics, train nurses, etc.) and building relationships, progress is made one tough step at a time.

They say that two things have made their work effective: trust and stories. They work to build mutual trust and they share and listen to personal stories. Trust is risky, they write, but they’re being both courageous and careful – they’re building trust however they can.

I’m stirred and challenged by people with faith like this. Sometimes in our effort to “think big” we avoid the tough callings for something that looks easier – something with the potential for impressive numbers and affirming success. We need to be willing to take the slow, tough road when God calls us down it and see success through his eyes.

For this group, every woman that lives through childbirth, every child who steps into a classroom for the first time, every life that is changed because of God’s message speaks of God’s love and power. It’s not always easy. It’s not always even fun. It’s work. But inside it there’s joy and purpose. There’s a point.

So … what are we doing?

Be thankful – here and now

There’s always a struggle to not let things you “get to” do become things you “have to” do. God’s used some recent events and conversations to remind me how thankful I am for the place God has put Grete and I and the opportunities and relationships he’s growing around us. For me, it’s easy to look at where I am verses where I want to be. But sometimes it’s good to see where I am compared to where I was.

Even though life is busy, it’s filled with exciting, important, and challenging stuff. And even the challenges are building and growing us for the future.

Tips for leading group discussions

For some people, leading a group discussion-based Bible study is simple. It just seems obvious. But others want – and need – a little more structure. As we’re working to share leadership in our small group, I’m learning that not everyone’s comfortable with just diving off the deep end without a few quick lessons. So while most things are better caught than taught, it’s sometimes good to have a little bit of teaching on the side.

Here’s a one pager I gave to our small group last night with some basics on leading discussion. It’s nothing special, but sometimes seeing things written down can help people understand why we do things this way and not that.

Courage and humility

Wise action often comes down to a balance between courage and humility.

We need courage to act – to move forward when God calls and when things need to happen. We need humility to listen and adjust along the way.

It involves a healthy tension. In preaching or teaching, it means sharing a strong message, but still listening to the feedback of others. In leading, it means boldly sharing the vision God has given you, but moving forward toward that vision in community – listening and adjusting together. In life, it means the courage to step up and make the tough decisions, pursue the relationships that might fail, give when giving doesn’t make sense. It also means the humility to listen to those around you, realize you’re not infallible, and enjoy the ride – even when mistakes are made.

Untested ideas

Sometimes I run into a challenge with blogging.

I care deeply about how we as a church and as individuals can spread God’s message and serve the world. I feel called to work within the local church – and it’s something I’m doing right now. But I also feel called to church planting. I’m not there yet, but I’m constantly wrestling with ideas of how it could be done, what’s effective, what isn’t. I want to blog about those things, but have two hesitations.

- I haven’t done it. They’re untested. Credibility comes from action, not ideas. It’s amazing how much ideas change once they jump into the realm of reality.

- It’s all speculative. God calls individuals to a people for a purpose based on who he’s made those individuals to be. In other words, many of the ideas I have – or the types of church I think best reach culture while staying most true to Kingdom values – could completely change once the context for them is set (and once the team of people serving together is set and seeking God’s direction together).

But, it’s a passion. It’s something I think about. It’s something I’m trying to live out. So I’ll write about it. When I do, feel free to call me naive. But even better yet, comment on it. Give your thoughts. I hope to always learn. And sometimes, the best way to learn is to put what you’re thinking into words. Learn to articulate it. Share it. And listen. That’s part of what I hope to do here.

So when these “untested ideas” come by, feel free to ignore them – or challenge them. I’d prefer the last option.

Worth reading: Goodmanson, Godin, and Groeschel

+ Drew Goodmanson hits the ball out of the park on two recent posts. He writes here about seeing the church functioning in three dimensions (similar to these). We need to gather corporately, as smaller groups relationally, and as people who are sent – on mission. He adds an interesting plug for the value of the big gathering. “One of the dangers of new ideas are often we can react to another extreme. Do we really need to abandon larger ‘Sunday Service’ gatherings in order to be an emerging movement of God through a house church type expression? I believe we can make a strong Biblical case that as believers corporate, intimate and small gatherings are all part of what it means to be the Church.”

Here he talks about how the western church is declining and how each church body can move forward in missional ways. He’s not afraid to use some theological terms you might not know if you haven’t been around a seminary culture. But it’s good food for thought.

+ Seth Godin writes about asking good questions (kind of). Some questions end the conversation, others elicit good feedback. If relationships matter, how are we engaging the world around us with good questions? As individuals? Corporately as a church?

He also writes about how in business, you’re better off helping those good at it improve than helping the novice get good at it. “You’re way better off helping the perfect improve. You’ll also sell a lot more management consulting to well run companies, high end stereos to people with good stereos and yes, church services to the already well behaved.” You know what’s tough about the church service comment? He’s right. It’s easier to cater to and work with the well-behaved. But just because you can doesn’t mean you should. We’re not here to help nice people get nicer. We have experienced a truth that every person needs to see lived out. Institutions stay safe. Movements take risks.

+ And finally, Craig Groeschel tells us what we should be mad about.

Say “no” to conferences

Conferences provide a lot of information with little context. Jordan Fowler has an excellent take on how to really learn over at Worship Trench:

There is a better way to learn that is customized to your context … watch-and-ask-over-dinner learning. If you go to a big conference, you are getting good stuff in a shotgun fashion which you may or may not be able to contextualize on your own. Instead, try this. When you have something to learn, find out who excels at it. Call them up and ask them their favorite NICE restaurant and ask them if there is a time you can buy them dinner and get a face to face with them to talk about how you do X or Y.

Conferences are still useful for networking and providing general info to get people started/fired up. But his way seems much more useful. Read the full post here.

More on “cool”

After writing yesterday about the lure of “cool,” I received an article in my in-box from Catalyst that talks about the same thing. (I, of course, added the bold words for the ADD folks)

But here’s a secret I’ve discovered: life is bigger and sweeter than whatever cool has to offer. I once thought cynicism was smart; now I know it’s just a limp safety blanket. I once thought being cool meant being relevant; now I know that relevance touches the places of the soul where joy is found, and sorrow. Cool lives only for the moment and thus cannot possibly be relevant when it really counts. …

Here then is the crossroads we face: a cool moment, or a freeing, healthy life in Christ. We can’t have both. The church’s greatest power lies in its being the “beloved community”-the supernatural community created by none other than God Himself through His Spirit. God’s love is the most deep-feeling, creative force in the universe, and the incredible truth is that this love lives in the church.

In its sharing of Christ’s suffering, and in its practice of inclusive hospitality, the beloved community displays cool’s fundamental phoniness to the world. Cool in one corner, and the love God gives His followers in the other? It’s not even a fair fight. The beloved community shatters cool’s rebellion.

And all of this from one of the coolest conferences out there! I do have to add that cool is different to different people. If cool is authentic attraction to who you really are – awesome. But we’ve got to resist positioning ourselves based on the expectations of others’ approval at the expense of God’s call. Read the article here.

A message within a context

There’s a lot of (legitimate and needed) conversation about how church should be “native” to its culture. We have many different types of cultures even within America, and one of the pastor/church planter/leadership team’s jobs should be to seek and pray about how the Kingdom of God can be expressed within that culture.

But a lot of times, this talk of “contextualization” ends up being talk of how to do the coolest or most trendy church. There’s a place for super small churches that meet in bars and mega gatherings with rockin’ bands. In that environment, it’s easy to start looking outward and seeking a different type of approval. The biggest test of God’s call may be this: are you willing to serve in a context that’s relevant and fruitful but isn’t labeled as cool and cutting edge?